written by gkim
Doemi services, otherwise known as karaoke bar call girl services, are growing at an alarming rate. They are a rapidly growing Korean phenomenon in the sex industry. Overall, the Koreatowns around the USA are said to have a cumulative total of about 5000 to 7000 doemis waiting on standby to be called to a karaoke bar (noraebang) per night on the weekends. This is how a doemi business operates: A group of people will go into a karaoke bar to rent a room by the hour (which is a pretty common form of social entertainment in the Korean community). Then they will either call the doemis directly, or they’ll ask the karaoke bar to call a doemi service on their behalf. The doemis will usually be waiting around in vans or streets outside the karaoke bar so that they are within walking distance if they are called. Once they are called, they enter the room they were called to inside the karaoke bar, and they basically begin to set a party vibe. They will sing, drink, and dance with the group at a rate anywhere from $60-$100 an hour. Many of these doemis accept sexual requests if they develop a bond with someone they meet, or if someone offers them a certain amount of money. This trend, which slowly trickled over from South Korea into the U.S. starting about 6 years ago, has grown out of control.
The doemi business has expanded so much that it has become quite difficult to differentiate between the doemi girls and regular club and bar hopping party-goers in the Koreatown night life. It seems like a new, popular and fun fad that Korean culture is going through, however it is extremely harmful for many reasons. Doemis are victimized whether they are aware of it or not. They are God’s precious daughters.
Here are some basic facts everyone–customers and doemis–should be aware of:
- This doemi business is becoming a gateway into a more hardcore sector of the sex industry. Many doemis never imagine they will eventually succumb to a darker side of the industry, but a lot of them do.
- It’s addictive because the money is quickly earned, and as time passes, the girl may be coerced or succumb to saying yes to just about anything.
- There are health implications associated with consuming large amounts of alcohol in one night while hopping from one group to another while working with different parties. Sometimes drugs can be available and the girls are exposed to and pressured into trying it with their groups.
- The girls are exposed and vulnerable to being fondled and harassed verbally and physically because they are being paid.
- It is demeaning and objectifying for girls to dress in provocative gear and get paid to entertain a group of people to be seductive, sexual, and ogled, although actual sex may not occur in the karaoke room.
- Paying for girls to provide entertainment is not the same as paying for a violinist to play the violin for you. The doemi services are pure objectification, exploitation, and violation of women as human beings.
- Doemi girls make easy money, therefore many end up feeling shameful and are stigmatized by society. The ones I have spoken to who have gotten out of the industry have expressed immense regret.
- Supporting the doemi business can have a detrimental effect on families. Fathers and husbands who utilize doemi services may one day be lured into cheating or come to find that their own daughters are working in this industry.
- The doemi business is harmful to Korean culture and society as it is multiplying. People view Korean girls to be sexual objects, materialistic, and loose.
- Doemi girls are victimzed, even though they have usually made the choice to be in this industry and many are unaware of what is happening to them as human beings. Their souls and bodies are being disrespected and abused. They become spiritually and mentally trapped.
- The Korean doemi business is affecting other ethnic groups, as they advertise on well-known sites. Many Caucasian, Japanese, Chinese, Malaysian, Filipino, Vietnamese, and Latino girls can be found working as doemi girls as well, not to mention that many non-Korean men have started going to Koreatown to gain access to the doemi services.
- Customers who call doemi services view these services as fun entertainment. This is not the case. Because of the high influx of men paying for girls to sit with them, the doemi services are growing rapidly. The Korean community must come together to stop the demand.
- Many people say that it is impossible and a waste of time to try and stop this business from proliferating. These same people say that it is pointless for churches and pastors to fight the sex industry, that sex work is the oldest profession in the world–and that it is never going to end. These people need to study history and read some books on William Wilberforce.
- Men and women, customers, owners, and workers who are involved in the doemi business–are usually victimized by greed and abuse–especially mentally and emotionally.
- The doemi business is a part of the sex industry, even though their work does not always lead to sex. They are selling the idea of sex and being sexual for money with strangers.
If you are a worker wanting to get out of this industry, a person contemplating on working in a noraebang as a doemi, an ex-worker trying to avoid stigmatization and attacks or dealing with guilt and shame, a trafficker selling girls into the industry, a doemi service owner, a taxi driver driving the girls and johns to and fro, an ex-worker who wants to help others get out, or anyone who is associated with or a supporter of the industry, please contact us. There are many people who would like to help you, pray with you, and love you in the name of Christ.
Don’t get into the doemi business. More importantly–Don’t support the doemis business as a customer. Help spread awareness. Help protect these women from being victimized. Pray that the young girls, who are getting into the industry so easily and without concern, may be transformed through the Gospel and know that they are so valuable and beyond previous. Pray that the girls, who have been horribly abused and believe this is their only option, will be given justice and a fresh new future. May they hear God’s voice calling out to them. Lord, break our hearts as your heart breaks, so that we may fight for your freedom and justice to reign over our precious community. Give the Korean community better judgement and distinct, clear discernment between what is acceptable by you and what is not. Oh come and help us Lord!
written by gkim
This is just one of many massage parlor signs littered across the Korean communities in the world. So many corners with so many different signs that represent the rampantly growing sex industry… This one clearly reads “massage” in Korean however, I walk inside one of these places to ask for their pricing, and I’m turned away. Their answer is simply: “You’re in the wrong place.” No explanation, no apologies, no excuses.
If I were a male walking into this establishment, I would have been greeted by the hosts at the front desk. Payment would’ve been required there ranging anywhere from $50 -$200 depending on the city. Next, I would have gone downstairs into a locker room where I would store my belongings and get into a robe they provided for me. I would head over to a sauna full of men while I wait for my turn. A female madam would appear in the sauna full of naked men, and beckon me. Then, I would be escorted into my own room where a naked “masseuse” would be waiting. Once the door shuts behind me, this young girl would disrobe me and begin to bathe me in the shower that is inside the room. Midway through this, she would perform oral sex. Next, she would guide me to a massage table where I would lie face down as she situates herself onto my backside and does devious acts that most people would never think of performing. She’ll finally lead me to the bed where a condom is put on and sex would occur. In some places, the condom usage depends on what the client desires, and the workers must comply. There are many places that offer more than one woman per client as well. Who would I possibly run into at these joints? Mostly married men consisting of CEOs of huge corporations, corporate employees, bored singles, some tourists, and a number of deportees. Yes, this is very explicit. But we must tell be fully aware and spread the truth about what is happening. If not, more girls will be sold into the dangerous sex industry, and people will be oblivious to the reality of what is going on behind closed doors.
Are these girls enjoying what they do? Well, let’s get the perspective of ex-workers who have gotten out of the sex industry. Not a single one says they have enjoyed it. Also, the majority of these girls are forced, trafficked, and sold into this type of work and there are many who end up viewing it as their only choice in life. Many men are fooled by their smiles or stories, and they don’t see these women as victims. Many of these women are enslaved and will not expose their truths to total strangers. They have no voice, no one to turn to, and they trust very few people to reveal their stories to. These types of massage parlors follow Koreans into the States and all over the world. In America, San Francisco is the mecca for Asian/ Korean Massage Parlors, but Koreatown, Los Angeles and Koreatown, New York have multiple massage parlors where “happy” endings are serviced at an extra cost. A lot of these registered businesses have salient characteristics that are only recognized by observant Koreans who are privy to this underground sex industry. Others may simply see a sign for a massage parlor and bypass it without a second thought.
Working with government legislators to shut them down legally is futile when in some areas cops are constantly being paid off to stay hushed, law enforcement are oblivious, or they refuse to acknowledge the enormity of what is happening. There are just way too many supporters, way too many people who want to satisfy their curiosities, and way too many worker bees who need some type of release. There are even some prostitutes who fight against the anti-prostitution law. These women believe that because the sex is occurring between two consenting individuals in exchange for money, it is no one else’s business nor it is harming anyone. However, it is not their fault that they do not know they are harming themselves for the long haul and that society is being harmed as a result. They are so broken and lost without Christ that they believe this is their only option.
It is up to the Church to spread the Gospel and inform everyone properly of what is light and what is dark. It is up to followers of Christ to serve the community by heeding God’s commands. Christians need to take leadership roles of cities and countries, and we need to rise up and set a good example. We must do God’s work here on Earth because that is our purpose–to serve Him.
If you are a worker wanting to get out of this industry, a person contemplating on working in a massage parlor, an ex-worker trying to avoid stigmatization and attacks or dealing with guilt and shame, a trafficker selling girls into the industry, a massage parlor owner, a taxi driver driving the girls and johns to and fro, or anyone who is associated or a supporter of the industry, please contact us. There are many people who would like to help you, pray with you, and love you in the name of Christ.
written by gkim
Many people and government officials argue that legalizing prostitution will solve the existing problems within the sex industry. They believe that a woman should have the right to sell her body if she wishes to do so. It’s the oldest profession in the world, and they’re legally consenting adults, they say. We can’t ever get rid of it, so might as well legalize it and provide condoms and safety for the workers. These people say they would rather have the government in control of the situation rather than the pimps, and that this gives the women more control and power.Furthermore, many girls who actually work in the industry fear they will lose their “only” source of income, so they take a very strong stance against any type of anti-prostitution activity or enforcement. Their reasoning is simply this: We are two consenting adults exchanging sex for money. We are not harming any other people in the process as long as we are practicing safe sex. This is a very skewed perception of what the sex industry and prostitution actually are. Here are seven reasons why:
I. Women who enter willingly into the sex industry do not really aspire or desire to be prostitutes. There is not one woman who is dreaming of this as her chosen profession and goal in life, fully aware of the consequences. It is usually an escape from poverty, violence, destitution, OR a lack of options in her eyes–the only way she thinks she can earn a living or maintain a type of financial stability or certain life that she desires. The woman enters thinking she will be somewhat in control. Some younger women may even verbalize that they love what they do. These typically younger women (who are not forced into the industry) try to justify their choices with a variety of different reasons such as I love sex, I’m not hurting anyone. This is my choice. Selling my body or having sex on camera is empowering. It turns me on. I love what I do. This has been my dream. I want to do this forever. These are merely public announcements. These are not the true revelations of a woman’s heart. Many of these women who enter willingly and say these things, do not enter the industry knowing the serious ramifications of what will happen to her. It is difficult to say that a woman would seek a lifestyle of selling sex for money if she knew that there was a 100% chance she would lose complete power over her life and be subjugated to humiliation, shame, rape, physical and mental abuse, torture, threats, corruption, sexually transmitted diseases, guilt, depression, or drug addictions. Almost 99% of women who have been rescued from the sex industry and women who have left on their own will have reiterated that they have been suppressed to one or more of these consequences. These thoughts will surely occur to her, but she enters thinking this will not happen to her or that she will be able to avoid it. She will quickly find out that she is trapped once she enters– trapped by the pimp, trafficker, or brothel owner. When people believe that prostitutes have chosen this life because they want to do it or because they were just born as whores, they are being deceived. All of these women are God’s precious daughters. The world may turn their backs on them, but God does not. It is up to us to help them see that they are loved.
2. Just because she is free to come and go physically, it does not mean anything, and we must remember that many are truly held from physical escape. The strongest hold on a prostitute is the mental entrapment that will dominate her life. Traffickers, pimps, and brothel owners will stop at nothing to turn a profit. One of the most common misconceptions that people have of prostitutes is that they can walk away at any time, yet they are choosing to stay in it. We must remember that almost 75% of girls who get into the industry do so as minors. Although the example I am about to give is not one of a voluntary prostitute, this is a perfect example of how one human being can influence and intimidate a young girl. Elizabeth Smart, a victim of abduction and sex slavery, was approached by police just a few months into her abduction.
She had the chance to speak up and reveal her identity, yet she was terrified that her abductors would kill her and then go after her family. She believed this with all of her heart, so she stayed quiet, and the police officer departed without suspecting anything. This type of mental control is carried out every second of the day by traffickers and pimps who view girls as their commodities. As I have said in another blog entry, don’t be fooled by smiling prostitutes. Giving a woman the right to sell her body is not giving them any type of right or freedom at all. In fact, it is the opposite of doing so.
3. Legalizing prostitution is accepting and allowing women and children of all ages to choose this as a legitimate profession. If we legalize prostitution, we are telling our sons and daughters that they can turn to prostitution as a career option when they become adults. In places like Isaan, Thailand, many children as young as five years old imagine themselves as prostitutes when they are older because it’s what they grow up seeing, and it appears to be an acceptable way to earn a living. If we do not want our own daughters to become prostitutes or become victims of trafficking, we certainly must NOT succumb to the ridiculous notion that legalizing it is better than prohibiting it. We are throwing our hands up in the air if we do this. We must strive for God’s justice to reign throughout the world no matter how difficult the fight may be or how long it may take.
4. Legalizing prostitution is not giving the government more power to oversee and protect the women. This expands the sex industry so much that it gets harder for the government to retrieve statistics and differentiate between minors and adults. Child trafficking sees an influx. It makes it acceptable for government workers to pay for sex, and it gives legal power to the pimp, trafficker, or brothel owner to become legitimate businessmen and entrepreneurs. It becomes harder for the government to provide assistance because a type of desensitization to the plight of these women occurs. Once it is legalized, new corruptions within the structure of the government evolves as they are essentially becoming the pimps. The society becomes more misogynistic. Right becomes indistinguishable from wrong. Devious and sexual acts become acceptable, and the women who are selling their bodies become subjugated to these types of acts. Additionally, there are already so many governments in the world that participate in sex tourism and sex entertainment. Corruption in such governments will increase and will not be deemed as corruption. In places like Thailand and Korea where the existing laws against prostitution aren’t enforced properly, women are forced to entertain men by engaging in deviance such as tricks with their genital muscles. Sex tourism booms in these countries, and more and more tourists who are exposed become accustomed to them and perceive them as entertainment. Imagine these types of acts becoming completely legal and protected by the law. Boundaries will become blurred and obsolete. Women will be exposed to more and more atrocity and promiscuity which will affect society as a whole.
5. Prostitution is a mask for human trafficking. The two are essentially one. If prostitution is legalized, the mask becomes thicker, and it will be able to morph into a number of different faces. Stats from countries with legalized or regulated prostitution such as Germany, Colombia, or the Netherlands have shown that human trafficking, especially of minors, has increased dramatically. The reason why prostitution can be identifiable with human trafficking is that most prostitutes who enter willingly or fight for the right to sell their bodies are so influenced, controlled, and overpowered by their pimps that they cannot leave the industry when they want to. Whether it is through mental control and brainwashing or through physical violence, these prostitutes are enslaved and kept in bondage. Most people associate bondage with a mental image of a person in chains somewhere in a dark room. This is of course the case with many, but in many cases, this is not the only type of bondage and enslavement. Many women believe that they are selling their bodies when in fact they are selling parts of their souls. They think they’re in control when they are not. Many enter voluntarily or are tricked into working and the majority cannot leave and live the lives they want to. Everything inside a human that is vital to leading a decent life in society diminishes and eventually becomes obsolete. Those who are rescued or escape from it will be internally affected for the rest of their lives. Most never come out in public, choosing to keep their stories hidden, sometimes even from their own families and husbands. Traffickers would love legalization as they would be able to hide the girls they traffick much easier. Do we really want to hand them more batons?
6. The aftermath of prostitution is horrendous. People who have sold their bodies for money become traumatized forever. Many end up committing suicide, addicted to drugs or alcohol, depressed, suffering from anxiety, and coping with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). Ex-prostitutes have expressed that pieces of their souls were sold along with their bodies. The majority who do make it out of the industry have difficulties assimilating back into society because they are ridden with intense shame or stigmatized as whores. The amount of rehabilitation and health recovery is monstrous.
7. Countries that have legalized prostitution see an overall decrease in humanity, spirituality, honor, and respect in their societies. At the same time, the oppression and objectification of women as sexual objects and the permissiveness of men buying women for sex increases ten-fold. If prostitution is legalized, it becomes a business that can be marketed. The marketing would be directed not only towards men who were already interested in paying for sex but to men who would never even consider paying for sex. We condone this type of behavior if we legalize it. This leads to a decline and neglect in sanctity, values, and gender equality.
Prostitution is not something that should be regulated or legalized ever.